National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

 Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  We remember those babies lost as a result of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and any other infant death. 

In March of 2008, I was teaching kindergarten, in grad school, and loving life with my 8 month-old daughter.  My husband and I were shocked to learn I was pregnant.  I was having another baby.  Then, less than a week later, I wasn't...

I had what was considered a "threatened miscarriage" with my first child, but I knew what I was experiencing this time was different.  Of course, it was a Friday.  I didn't want to spend the weekend wondering and worrying.  Since my regular doctor was unavailable, I asked to be seen by any doctor or nurse practitioner who could fit me in.  Then came trying to arrange for a substitute teacher to cover my class during the middle of the day. As I drove to the clinic, I realized I hadn't eaten lunch and decided that could be contributing to my increasing stomach pain.  It was a Friday during Lent, so I ordered a fish sandwich at the drive-thru, but couldn't eat it.  Four years later, fish sandwiches still trigger memories of that day.  At the clinic, I met with a nurse practitioner who sent me for an ultrasound.  For as kind and understanding as that physician was, the ultrasound tech was the complete opposite.  She went so far as to tell me "I don't know why she's having you do this when you haven't done any blood tests."  I felt like a failure...and that was before she performed the ultrasound.  I was then sent back to the waiting room.  As this was not my first ultrasound, it was obvious to me what the technician did (or didn't) see, even if she didn't have the authority to tell me.  I looked around the waiting room and wondered how many of the women were there for prenatal visits.  Then, I noticed a coworker also waiting.  It took all I had not to make eye contact with her, as I knew I would burst into tears.  When I was called back to meet with the physician, the second I stepped into her office, I lost it.  She didn't need to tell me what I already knew.

I went home and slept and was comforted by my husband.  That evening I had grad school.  It was the final weekend of class and we were presenting final projects.  I went early to talk with my professor.  He told me to go home and that I could come the next day and give my presentation.  The perfectionist in me knew I had to stay.  I wanted to see others give their presentations.  I watched, then went home and made some changes to my own final project, all while so many emotions were flooding through my head. 

Time went on and I was sad, but knew all along that I had not done anything to cause my miscarriage.  I believed God had a plan for me and my family.  Three short months later, I was pregnant again. 

As I write this, a spunky three-year-old is snuggled up beside me.  She was part of God's plan for our family.  As hard as it is to know that I lost a child, I also know the one beside me now would not have been...

Earlier this year I read Heaven is for Real.  I have always believed there is a baby waiting for me in Heaven, and the book has only made me more excited to meet him/her someday!   I pray for strength, love and support for all the women and families remembering a baby, today.

This is It...

This is it...the last full week of summer before we have a kindergartener.  On the first "official" day of summer the girls and I made a list of all the things they wanted to do during summer vacation.  It looks like we have a lot to get done this week!   Here's how we've been doing with our summer to-do list:
1. Go Swimming at a Waterpark
Go to a Park
3. Eat Ice Cream on the Deck
4. Play Hide and Seek
5.Play Duck Duck Goose
6. Play Ring Around the Rosey
7. Ride Bike as a Family
8. See Brave at the Movie Theater
9. Go to a Pool
10. Go to the Library
11. Sidewalk Chalk
12. Make a Butterfly Craft
13. Paint our Nails
14. Have a Luau
15. Go to the Zoo
16. Go to Chuck E. Cheese
17. Plant Flowers
18. Make Cupcakes
19. Make Popsicles
20. Mommy/Taylor Date
21. Daddy/Taylor Date
22.Daddy/Kendal Date
23. Mommy/Kendal Date

I think we can knock out 4-6 today since it's rainy.  We haven't made cupcakes, but we made cookies.  Does that count?  We're hoping to go to the zoo this weekend because it will be cooler.  Kendal tried the nail painting on her own.  It was nothing short of a miracle that there was not red nail polish all over the carpet when her big sister let me know what she was up to.  I think I'll pop over to Pinterest now and find a butterfly craft. :) 

Confessions of an Email Hoarder

My name is Kimberly, and I am an email hoarder.  Tonight, I undertook the task of purging a large number of emails from the inbox of my 2nd most important email account.  Let me explain.  I have an account that was my primary account in 2000.  This is now my go-to account for sharing at stores and online when signing up for rewards cards.  I check it once every two weeks.  It ranks lowest in importance.  I created an account in 2005 or 2006 that became my primary account.  It got bumped down a peg when I created a new account about five months ago.  My primary account gained even more relevance when I chose to become a full-time SAHM two months ago and gave up my work email account.  Anyway, back to account number two.  After deleting some emails tonight, I noticed I still had almost 600 emails in my inbox.  That's right SIX HUNDRED.  And...I'd actually opened them all.  They were just sitting there.  What were these gems of messages I'd saved you ask?  Well...about 20 library books due in 3 days notices, 10 failure to deliver messages, advertisements for sales at a variety of stores...the usual must-save junk I never delete.  However, there were some fun "trip down memory lane" emails.  I found an assortment of invitations and itineraries for trips and holiday parties, online proofs from photo shoots for our family, messages and photos from friends before we only shared through Facebook, a welcome letter from my new boss when I landed an awesome job, receipts from toys I ordered online for the girls, and MANY emails from fellow students and instructors during grad school.  The majority of my saved emails were from 2007-2009 when I had an infant, started grad school, and then was pregnant again.  Obviously I didn't have time for frivolous tasks like cleaning up my inbox!  :)  I also tend to save emails relating to school or work until I'm certain I will NEVER need them again.  Truth be told, I had one such grad school email from 2006.  So, now only 16 messages remain in my inbox.  Here's to hoping the hoarding is over and that in 2018 I'm not blogging about a message I still have from 2012!

Monica and Fred

Have you met Monica and Fred?  This couple has been known to drive a mean racecar, fire truck, or any other vehicle that's attached to a shopping cart.  Any time we pull into the parking lot of a store that offers kid-friendly shopping carts, little K eagerly encourages her sister to play "Monica and Fred."  They happily turn the steering wheels attached to the cart and K chats with Fred (how lucky to have an older sister who always agrees to be the boy).  While the kid-friendly carts are a PAIN to drive, they do make a grocery trip much easier! :)

Here it is!

It's time to celebrate the small things.  The littles and I had fun at our local branch library's summer carnival.  We grabbed a quick lunch, then I took them bowling for the first time.  There's a great program that gives you free online coupons for kids to bowl TWO games A DAY for free!  The weather here has been HOT, but after a small rain shower cooled things down (about 3 degrees) a kind neighbor came over with her daughter to introduce herself...with cookies!  Here's to the small things!  Oh, and welcome to my blog! :)